Good Finking!

December 11 – 11 Things What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life? (Author: Sam Davidson)

1. Guilt about not getting everything done on my to-do list. Stop making so many to-do lists… even in my head. Those ones count too.

2. Books bought and cluttering up our small home. Keep going to the library… and convince husband that an e-reader really isn’t such a bad idea.

3. Those last five pounds of stubborn baby weight. Keep eating well and forcing myself to go for walks every day – even when it’s raining.

4. Spur-of-the-moment purchases. Start using the iXpenseit app on my phone again to drive home how much of my spending is truly frivolous.

5. Free crap. Just say no – to free product samples, free pens and trinkets from tradeshows, free crappy stuff we don’t really need.

6. Dust. Create a house cleaning schedule (just a little each day!) and stick to it.

7. Ten million newsletters. Take time to unsubscribe from things I don’t read anymore.

8. Twenty million blogs. I know I keep thinking that one day I’ll get to them, but I never do. Take time to unsubscribe from the ones I’ll never read.

9. Wrinkles. Ok so I can’t eliminate them but I can delay new ones.Get better acquainted with sunscreen.

10. iPhoto. It’s so annoying when I have to email photos and it’s a complete mess, anyway. Make time to reorganize things and going back to Picasa.

11. Worrying about people. Remember that they’re grownups and can figure it out themselves, and worrying about it won’t help anyone.

How will eliminating these things change my life? It’ll improve it, of course. But only slightly. In thinking about this prompt, I’ve realized how happy I am with my life as it is. And that’s about as good as it gets.

Learn more about this project at reverb10.com.

December 10 – Wisdom Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? (Author: Susannah Conway)

Decisions, decisions, decisions. This entire year was nothing but. Having a baby is like that – every time you pat yourself on the back for having finally decided on something, there are twelve more things to decide on.

What baby stuff to buy, where to give birth, how to give birth, who to have there, when to stop working, when to start working, what color to paint, what to eat, what to read, what to ignore, when to say yes, when to say no and when to let go and just be. Then you have the baby and it’s when to feed them, how often to change diapers, how to make them sleep, to use a pacifier or not, where to ask for help and when to admit you have no idea in hell what you are doing. Mostly the last one.

You get the idea.

When I think of being wise or using wisdom, I somehow always assume that it’s based on experience. After all, aren’t the wisest men (and women) old, and isn’t it because they have seen the most, done the most, and therefore learned the most?

Most decisions I made this year were made not based on wisdom. Research, yes. Weighing pros and cons, yes. Seeking advice of others, definitely. Wisdom? Well, seeing as I had absolutely ZERO experience in the baby department… no.

So I don’t think I have an answer for this one. Ask me again when I have a second kid.

Learn more about this project at reverb10.com

December 9 – Party Prompt: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans. (Author: Shauna Reid)

Despite the fact I was almost six months pregnant and didn’t partake in the traditional (read: nighttime booze-soaked) festivities, the two weeks that the Olympics were going on here in Vancouver, it felt like a party every day. There was a certain buzz in the air. Everywhere you went downtown, you floated in a sea of red and white. Restaurants and stores were packed but rather than being annoying, it only added to the excitement in the air. People smiled at each other on the street. Cameras were everywhere. And somehow it felt like family – like we were all connected, Vancouverites and visitors alike.

For me, the ultimate party was the closing ceremonies. The opening ceremonies were amazing – being an Athlete Marshall, I was just a few feet away from the athletes when they proudly marched in and that was undescribably cool. But the closing ceremonies, with its concert atmosphere, Michael Buble mountie and floating moose and beavers,  felt like a crazy, kooky celebration. Once the ceremonies were over and the TV cameras were shut off,  gigantic illuminated bouncing balls were released into the crowd and all us volunteers melted into the middle to mingle with the celebrating athletes. There was a sense of wild joy that was contagious. Of course there were after-celebrations at all the bars downtown but this little preggo was happy to go home and to bed. Being a part of it all was party enough for me.

Photos by Matt Corker

December 7 – Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011? (Author: Cali Harris)

The moment I had a baby, my participation in my online community of blogger friends disappeared like chocolate in a room full of pregnant women. In fact, my participation in ANY community disappeared for a good couple of months. But eventually I felt brave enough to venture into the unknown with my wailing, pooping and barfing baby (at least, it seemed like that’s all he did when we were in public and it counted) and tried to find other mommies to hang with. It was on the advice of a wise gal who’d begun the path of motherhood just a few months before me that I did it at all, because if I’d have been left to my own devices, I’d have been happy as a clam to continue my solo marathon stroller walks along the seawall. At least for a while longer, anyway. But she was so right – seeing others struggling with the same things I was was SO cathartic… and continues to be.

There are a several mommies that I am in touch with, and I’m grateful for all of them because they’re so different. One is a group of gals (and one dad!) from our prenatal class. At first I thought we couldn’t be more different from each other – how on earth was this going to work? But it turns out we are united in our weird sense of humor, our easy-going attitudes and our tolerance for others who are not doing the exact same type of mothering. Which is SUCH a relief, considering the kinds of mommy drama that’s out there.

Another is a group of cool gals from a baby-group led by the community health nurses; we literally ran into each other at a coffee shop before group one day and laughed because every single one of us had the exact same stroller. Same tastes… how could we not get along? These gals are the type of moms who are always in the know when it comes to the best baby products and most fun ideas of things to do and places to go with baby; they’re amazing researchers and since most of their babes are two months older than Tooshie, I learn a lot just by checking in at their Facebook group page. (That’s another thing… they’re super organized!)

Then I have a few “onesie” friends: girls who I hang out with – or, as in the case of my brother’s wife, talk to on the phone every couple of days – just the two of us. These are the girls to whom I tell the everyday goofy stuff Tooshie does, and to whom I pour my heart out (and sometimes cry) about the tough parts of being a mom (and oooh, there are many).

Keeping up with this real-life community of moms – not to mention all my other real-life friends and family and oh, right… my husband, too – takes up all my time and then some. I always feel like I’m behind in catching up with people, so it goes without saying (though I’m going to say it anyway [I always thought that was a funny phrase]) that I’ve pretty much completely lost touch with my community of ‘online’ friends. I’d like to re-cultivate those relationships in 2011, while maintaining my real-life ones. Tall order, I know. Ah well. I consider myself an optimist.

December 8 – Beautifully Different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful. (Author: Karen Walrond)

This is a tough one because in my generation, if you give yourself props, other people are going to call you stuck up and snooty and all manner of other less-polite things (and even if other people give you props you get that… flashback high school). I’m making myself sound old but seriously, have you not noticed that all the kids today are always “I rock!” and “I can do anything better than anyone”, even when (sorry to say) they don’t?? But I’m getting off topic.

I think what makes me different is my tendency to look for the good in every thing and everyone, and my enthusiasm for simple things that bring joy.

I’m the person who will introduce herself and invite you to lunch on your first day at work.

I’m the coworker who will set up booby traps on your desk while you’re away on vacation, and hang slightly tacky dollar-store decorations all over the office at Christmas.

I’m the one who will wear a Halloween costume even though I’d be one of only three people who do.

I send birthday cards via snail mail and get super excited when the power goes out.

I love impromptu french fry excursions and long distance phone calls and exchanging smiles with strangers on the street and the smell of Windex (because it means my house is clean!).

I make up super dorky songs for Baby Tooshie (i.e. to the tune of Spiderman: “Pampy time, pampy time; It is Tooshie’s pampy time; Lift the legs, under the bum; That is how it is done; Look out! It is pampy tiiiiiime!”). Told you they were dorky. And I dance along to them too.

I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.

I’ll be there for you if you just ask.

And I’ll sing every word to every Christmas song on the radio, even if you cover your ears and say you hate Christmas songs… especially if you say you hate Christmas songs (’cause we all know that’s impossible).

I used to think these things were really just super cheesy and slightly embarrassing but thanks to my husband, I now realize the value of cheese.

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Wondering what the heck this is all about? Find out at reverb10.com

A few more beautifully different people:

kimberlymichelle.com

Two Wishes

Glamour This!

Crafts and Cardigans

Marissa Makes

Kinzie Says

His Birdie’s Nest

Nodakademic

Marsh Mellow Goodness

I’m a bit late to this party but better late than never.

Better late than never. It sounds so simple but it’s something I’ve always struggled with, and never more so than since I had a baby.

I like to start things when they’re supposed to start. Do things when they’re supposed to be done. Some call it perfectionism. I (after years of denial) admit that it’s actually procrastination. Because if I don’t start them or do them on the “right” day or at the “right” time, they get postponed. And you know what happens then: anxiety levels rise and a sense of pervasive uneasiness settles on your shoulders. Ugh.

So I’m going to just jump in and do things this next year. It will probably be messy and it will definitely not be up to my personal (silly!) standards but it will be DONE. And there’s no better way to start than this – #reverb10 – a project of self-reflection. It started six days ago. But that’s ok. Better late than never.

December 1 – One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you? (Author: Gwen Bell)

My first thought when I read this was: SLEEP. I know, totally boring, right? I wish it was something cooler and more… existential. But, if you’re a mother you know exactly why. For the first five months of this year while I was still pregnant, I couldn’t get enough of the stuff. It became increasingly uncomfortable and downright painful near the end but it was still glorious. Then the baby was born and I fell into a deep despair: I was convinced I’d never sleep more than two hours in a row EVER AGAIN. Then the baby got older and I obsessed about how many times he woke up during the night and how many minutes he napped during the day (actually, I still do). And now that he sleeps through the night (usually), I don’t… because I’m trying to do the hundred and one things I didn’t get done during the day. Sleep is beautiful and it is a paradox. I can’t have it and then when I can, I push it away.

I hope 2011 brings BALANCE. I’d like to be better at balancing baby time and family time and friend time and housework time and real work time (because I’ll be going back) and personal growth time and good ol’ kickin’ back and being me time. Oh, and all this while enjoying sleep time, too.

December 2 – Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it? (Author: Leo Babauta)

1. Take care of/ play with/ teach/ enjoy baby. No I can’t eliminate it and I wouldn’t want to.

2. Blog reading and Facebooking. Yes, if I cut back on this I’m sure I’d magically find the time to write that I keep complaining I don’t have. These are my procrastinating tools. What I need to find is the strength to not procrastinate. And why do I procrastinate? Because (a) part of me is afraid the final product won’t be nearly as good as it “should be”, and (b) even after years of blogging, I still get nervous putting myself out there. Oh sure, I have things to say. Too many, some might say (ahem, Mr Fink). But while I blog in my mind several times a day, they never make it to you because I wimp out. And that’s the truth. They say admitting it is the first step to fixing it but I admitted this to myself a year ago and I’m still struggling with it. Maybe I need to find a different approach, like forcing myself to write on a schedule. I’m afraid doing that will turn writing into a chore though, rather than a pleasure. And that is about the worst thing that could happen. So I’m stuck.

December 3 – Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Author: Ali Edwards)

It happened just a couple weeks ago: Vancouver got a snow day. And if you don’t live here, you probably won’t realize the intensity of those words alone. It rarely snows here, let alone snows buckets, so no matter where you were or whether you hated snow or loved it, it was an event of massive proportions. I bundled Tooshie up and stuck him in the carrier and out we ventured into the white. After meeting up with my sister-in-law and neice, Tooshie and I headed home. But we didn’t go home. The softly falling flakes, the smooshy sound under my boots (rain boots… ’cause that’s what Vancouverites wear when it snows), the crispy air, and the electric brightness of everything, it filled me to overflowing with joy and I just couldn’t bring myself to go back inside. Instead, we walked around the neighbourhood. Fat, wet snowflakes fell and covered Tooshie’s booted feet, Christmas music was blaring in my earphones and my heart swelled in my chest as I crunched along and grinned to myself at the sight of kiddies building snowmen in the park and a dude shoveling snow in his shorts. I imagined us next year – instead of carrying him around, Toosh and I would be sledding and building snowmen too! I smiled at everyone I passed and they all smiled back at me; we were complicit in our complete and blissful satisfaction of that messy, snow day. I thought, ‘This. This is what it’s all about.’ It still gives me goosebumps to think about it.

December 4 – Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)

I didn’t have to cultivate a sense of wonder this year – it hit me like a bus the day I gave birth. Another human being – one that didn’t ever exist – is alive… looks and breathes and smiles and laughs and learns and loves… all because of me and my husband. We did this. There is nothing more wondrous than that. I am in awe every day.

December 5 – Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)

Lists. I used to be a list maker. Lists of things to do, items to buy, people to call, ideas to write about, stuff to research, books to read, movies to see, moments to remember.

The funniest and most ridiculous was a list of Things to Do During My One Year Maternity Leave. This list had all sorts of seemingly do-able things on it. After all, I’d be off work for a year!! Plenty of time to: 1. Create a wedding photo album (two years after the wedding… er…); 2. Learn how to Photoshop; 3. Self-host and redesign my blog; 4. Create personalized Christmas cards; 5. Create a baby photo book; 6. Turn my wedding blog posts into a book; 7. Scrapbook; 8. Print and frame photos for our home; 9. Find us a new home; 10. Learn how to knit something other than scarves; and many, many, MANY other things that, at 3 in the morning, seem incredibly important.

I haven’t yet succeeded completely but I’ve made some headway in letting go of my listy mentality. As my sage mother keeps telling me: “The most important thing right now is your baby – make sure he is happy and healthy and don’t worry about anything else. Enjoy every moment with him because that’s the stuff you’ll remember, not the little things”. And she’s so right. So I’m trying hard every day to do just that.

December 6 – Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? (Author: Gretchen Rubin)

I can’t for the life of me remember the last thing I made. Does sewing up a ripped pillow cushion count? No? Hmm. Then I suppose it was the lamp I tried to repair. It’s one of those Ikea things with the rice-papery shade. The paper ripped so I bought some material and tried to replace it. It was pretty much a disaster – the material ended up all uneven and lumpy and I hot-glued my fingers together. I don’t want to spend money on new, nice lamps because one day we’ll move and I don’t yet know what style I’ll want to decorate in, so, sadly, the hideously refurbished Ikea lamp is still in our living room. Every time I turn it on, I cringe.

I really want to make a mobile for the baby’s room. The problem is, the baby’s six months old already. I got all the materials I need and I have a general idea of how I want to put it together but I just can’t seem to find time to make it. I’m afraid he’ll grow out of needing a mobile before I get around to it.

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Learn more about this project at reverb10.com