So You Think You Can Dance In Ma Belly

From Letters to Baby*.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009 {15w6d}

Dear Popcorn,

In several of the books I’ve been reading (I’m doing sooo much research on you – aren’t you flattered?), it says that some women may feel their baby move around this time in their pregnancies. Actually, some of them use the term ‘quickening’ but I quite dislike that word. It reminds me of something that was lifeless and then is touched by a wand and made to move. I’m not sure exactly where I got that idea from, but now I can’t get rid of it.

I’ve been wondering quite a bit lately if it’s really you I’ve been feeling. The other day I had a magical moment. I thought I felt something and I paused at the top of the stairs which were completely dark except for the moonlight streaming in through the skylight. It was a full moon and I looked up at it with my hand on my belly, willing you to do it again. I still wasn’t sure if that was actually you or just the effects of your Ciocia Karolina’s delicious french onion soup. I’d like to think the former, though.

Just now, I thought I felt it again. I had just finished lunch and so I am back at my desk. I decided to google what it might feel like but as I scanned the responses in the forum I found, my doubt deepened. Fluttering? Nope. Bubbles? Nope. Twitches? None of these sounded like what I felt… until I got to the very last message. “It kind of feels like little pops of corn to me,” she wrote, and I’m sure my face lit up. That’s what I feel – that’s exactly what I feel!

Maybe it is you. I don’t think I’ll go crowing about it until I’m very, very sure. But between me and you, I suspect.

Love,
Mama

Tuesday, December 22, 2009 {17w6d}

Dear Pookie,

Yup, ‘Pookie’ is the latest because that’s what I think when I feel you bumping around in there, going pook pook pook. That’s a bit of a Polish-ism I suppose. I really hope I can teach you some Polish, little one. I’ve been saying for years to babcia and dziadek that when you go visit them, it’s going to be strictly Polish Bootcamp – no English allowed! But I hear them with your cousin Ella and it’s so funny, it’s usually in English. I hope I can convince them to help me instill just a bit of Polack in you.

But yes, you’re going pook pook pook more and more often now and it’s so fun for me to be reminded of your presence. I put your father’s hand on my tummy the other night when it seemed like you were having a bit of a party in there (must’ve been a combination of that singing show on tv and chocolate covered Polish plums) but he doesn’t feel you yet. “Get back to me when there’s some real action,” he joked. I think he’s just as excited. Some mornings, he taps my belly lightly as if to say hello. Or maybe just to wake you up. He’s mischievous like that.

Love,
Mama

Thursday, January 7, 2010 {20w1d}

Dear…

Am I overwhelming you with nicknames already? Maybe it’s because I secretly yearned for one myself when I was young but never got one.

This week, if I knew the names of any of those So You Think You Can Dance people, that’s what I would use for your nickname (that’s a show that’s pretty popular right now; go ahead, make fun of us old fogies). You’re doing so many flips and fancy dance moves these days, that it’s quite deliciously distracting. My first day back to work after the holidays, you were on fire! But you must have tired yourself out because the next day you were pretty quiet and, in typical mommy-worry-mode, it’s all I could think about. But don’t worry, I’m going to try extra hard not to be a big worry wart when you come out. No promises, though.

I told you about the holidays but I forgot the best part – when your aunt Anna and I bumped bellies so you cousins could say hello. You must have made quite the impression because her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open… she had felt her baby kick for the first time right then and there. Way to go! I think you must have a sixth sense when it comes to your dad though, because every time you’re doing a square dance in there and I put his hand on your belly, you stop immediately. To which he says, “Smart kid – he or she knows not to kick their father.”

Before I got pregnant, I always thought feeling some little person moving inside me was the creepiest thing imaginable. When we were younger, my brother used to rent the grossest possible alien movies and despite myself I couldn’t help catching parts of them here and there. They always, always had a shot of some green, gooey alien thing moving around or bursting out of someone’s stomach and I couldn’t help but think of that. But of course, now that you’re here and I can feel you every day, I’m just another cliche who goes around saying how wonderful it is. Because I can’t lie – it is wonderful. I’m happy to know you’re having a grand ole’ time in there… especially after I eat chocolate. Which I do just for you, you know. <wink>

When someone asks me what it feels like I tell them: “You know how when you buy a goldfish from the pet store they give it to you in a plastic baggie full of water? Well imagine you pour out most of the water the goldfish is flopping around. That’s what it feels like.”

Except when you punch me, of course. But that’s ok. I’m punch drunk in love with you so it’s fitting.

Love,
Mama

————-

*I have a private place where I’ve been writing letters to our baby. This is an excerpt.